Updated: Apr 16
I'm mom to Nate & Lucas (and Luna the Frenchie), wife to Jonathan, a Maryland Realtor, and a Hot Mess Mama who has found freedom in discipline and peace in the mundane.
So many moms I talk to just want to be free. Free from guilt, free from obligations, free from stress, free from feeling stuck. I know because I was her...I am her. Now let me let you in on a secret, you have the key to the cage. You just need to believe you can fly. I can help.
I used to feel trapped by the mundane; terrified of being stuck in a boring life. Routine and discipline made me feel restricted. I was chasing freedom, but little did I know that my desire to be free and spontaneous was actually restricting me from all the things I wanted---all the things I was capable of having.
My life was a mess. I was spending beyond my means, wasting hours a day on social media (comparing myself to others), drowning in clutter, saying "Yes" to everything and everyone, living each day from coffee to wine, and stuck in a 9-5 job that sucked the life out of me. I felt stuck in a life I hated and I couldn't see a way out. I started having debilitating panic attacks that made me afraid to leave the house. My life became consumed by managing my anxiety. I felt exhausted, unaccomplished, and unworthy.
"I thought I was protecting my freedom, but in reality, I had built the cage I was so desperately trying to escape from."
Enough was enough. I finally decided I was the only person who was capable of changing my life. I went to Jonathan and broke down, "I need help. I can't live like this anymore." He had seen me in a downward spiral for months. He was scared and took my words literally. He drove me to the hospital and checked me in for a psychiatric assessment, which led to a 2-week out-patient group therapy session at the hospital's behavioral health facility. I learned about mindfulness, meditation, visualization, and that our thoughts are a choice. I became obsessed with fixing myself.
And after seven years of therapy, coaching, masterminds, endless books, podcasts, and seminars, neurolinguistic programming, a graduate degree, and continuing education courses, I'm still not fixed. I'm still chasing my best life, but now I call BS on my excuses. Now I know how to stop bad thoughts in their tracks so I never again spiral so far down I can't see my way out. Now I know that self-belief is the key. All of us have what it takes to fly, but instead of trusting ourselves we rely on others to tell us what we're capable of-- or what we deserve.
When I was in a really dark place, my therapist asked me: "what do you deserve?". What an odd question! What do you mean, "what do I deserve?". I'm a mom, I don't deserve anything. It's my job and my purpose to prioritize my babies and my husband and my work and my friends and my family... I deserve the PBJ crusts--- the leftovers.
How many of you feel this?
You are more than leftovers. You deserve more than "enough" or "fine" or "OK". You deserve the whole sandwich.
You know you deserve more. You know you're capable of more. You know you're destined for more. Now you just need to choose more. I'm here to show you how.
Let's all fly high together.